Ice Eyes
by Tanoshimi
Summary: It is like trying to look into the eyes of a dragon, the ultimate feat... They say eyes are the windows to the soul, and Finland is about to find out what that really means.


Hey there! Well, here's my first SuFin. It's not the best plot I've ever had (actually, it's sort of cliché), but I felt like I needed to post something about them! Please go ahead!

* * *

The first thing that he noticed upon waking every morning, Finland found, was the absence of his pillow. He would take a few moments to mourn the loss of his comfortable, feather-filled friend. Then he would get up, stretch, and venture into Sweden's room. Hanatamago was there every time, reclining on the missing object. Finland would stop to admire the undeniably adorable scene, and then give the pillow a firm tug. That would send Hanatamago sprawling onto the bed, therefore giving him the chance to reclaim his pillow. This subsequently led to a good fifteen minutes being spent comforting his dog. The result was that he had to brush his teeth, dress, and eat breakfast in a matter of moments. By the time he rushed out of the door, he would be a few minutes late. That was Tino's daily routine, and everything was accomplished without even one glimpse of Sweden.

Describing Berwald Oxenstierna was a task worthy of the most capable of men. He was not reclusive; in fact, he could be accessed quite easily. Nor was he mean-spirited; anything but that. However, one thing was obvious to Tino: Sweden was intimidating. One look from Su-san's icy blue eyes could reduce the Finn to a nervous wreck. And therein lay the reason why Berwald was never invited on Christmas sojourns. It was also due to this particular trait of Sweden's that Finland found himself unable to look him in the eye. Today was on e of those rare mornings when they were both on leave from work. Berwald was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. Sealand was still sleeping soundly with Hanatamago tucked under his arm. And Tino? He was currently in the midst of an awkward situation. While Sweden made the food, Finland transported the platters to the table. They worked in silence. Finally, Tino decided to make some conversation.

"So, Su-san, how's work?" Berwald turned his gaze from the stove to him. Finland looked away instantly, choosing to fish a plate out for the next dish.

"Fine. 'nd you?"

"It's okay." It was irritating how he could not even look directly at the man, even after years of living with him. Tino resolved to try again. He asked,

"Isn't it a nice day today?" _Darn. I'll definitely do it the next time_, he vowed, as his eyes flitted away.

"I s'pose it is."

"Let's take Sealand and Hanatamago out." This time, he managed to look at Su-san for a full two seconds. Then he skittered away, carrying a bowl of _villi_ toward the table.

"'kay," came the reply from behind. Was that a hint of forlornness in Sweden's voice? Tension was palpable in the air all during breakfast.

As said, Finland and Sweden took Sealand and Hanatamago to the park. The afternoon sun glinted off of the white snow. Above was a calm blue sky. It was a beautiful day. Tino sat on a bench, watching Peter frolic around with Hanatamago at his heels. Berwald was sitting next to him. After a while, he said,

"Th're's a starin' contest t'day." Finland looked in the direction of Sweden's extended finger.

"So there is."

"D' you want t' join?"

"Sounds fun!"

"Gu'ss I'll be y'r partn'r. "

"What?" The Finn looked closely at the staring contest. There was a sign announcing that a partner would be needed. Instantly, he turned cold.

"Oh, you don't have to, Su-san! I'm sure you have better things to do!"

"I d'n't mind."

"Really, it's okay. In fact, I don't even want to enter this contest!"

"'re you sure?"

"Yeah." He turned away before he could register the sad little expression on Sweden's face. They waited silently until Sealand grabbed their hands.

"Let's go home now."

Needless to say, dinner was a quiet affair.

* * *

Sweden's birthday was soon arriving, so Finland was at the moment constructing a bookshelf for him. He had tried his hardest to attain that level of perfection found in Swedish handicrafts. Each panel was cut from oak, sanded close to twenty times each, and finally fitted together to form the finest bookshelf that Tino had ever made by himself. He tried to ignore his chafed hands and beamed with pride at his work. Su-san would be so happy! And on the side panel he had painstakingly chiseled in _Happy Birthday, Su-san!_, even adding (though in a much smaller font) _Your wife, Finland_. Now, he had to hide it. Just as he had finished stowing the bookshelf away in the attic, he heard the click of the door that signaled Sweden's return. Tino hurriedly dusted off his hands and went to greet him.

It was now the eve of Sweden's birthday. His favorite _prinsesstårta _was baking in the oven. Sealand was barricaded in his room, making a present. Finland was putting the finishing touches on the bookshelf. Even Hanatamago was getting ready, running around and barking whenever it appeared that they had forgotten something. The only one missing was Berwald himself. When he finally appeared, everyone struggled to contain their excitement. However, it seemed that he was not feeling at his best.

"D'n't feel that well. I'm goin' t' bed," he told them while he shucked his heavy coat. "You c'n eat d'nner without me." Tino watched Sweden worriedly as he trudged to his room. He hoped that all would be well the next day. The Finn called Sealand down to eat. That night, the dinner table was actually quite lively. It scared Finland how much he could relax while with the rest of his family, when even looking at Sweden took all of his courage.

Fortunately, Berwald was feeling much better the next day. He was roused from his sleep by an enthusiastic Sealand.

"Papa, Papa, wake up! It's your birthday!" Standing at the door, Finland watched tenderly as Sweden rubbed his eyes and put on his glasses.

"Is it? I 'lmost f'rgot." Peter was enveloped in a hug by his father.

"Happy birthday, Papa!"

"Happy birthday, Su-san." The Swede looked at his formerly unnoticed visitor. Tino's gaze immediately landed on Berwald's nose. He winced inwardly. _This is ridiculous. I should be able to look at him on his birthday at least! _Thankfully, he was saved by Peter, who dragged Sweden to the kitchen for his breakfast.

The afternoon was reserved for presents and fun. Berwald was very pleased with his new bookshelf, so Tino was happy as well. Peter finally unveiled his gift: an intricate ship in a bottle that he had created by hand. In a rare show of emotion, Sweden swept him up and gave him a bear hug. They then proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon skiing. Sealand engaged them in several snowball fights, which left the family covered in wet white clumps. At last they retired and went back home in high spirits.

Dinner consisted of _ärtsoppa, biff stroganoff, blodpudding, _and the highly anticipated _prinsesstårta_. There was a visible gleam to Sweden's eyes as he watched Finland place the cake in front of him. He cut a slice for everyone. Even Hanatamago was given a small piece. When Peter finished and went to this room to watch television, Berwald smiled at Tino from across the table. The Finn still could not bring his eyes up to meet the Swede's. Even more horrifying was that he could not return the smile, something like a grimace appearing on his face instead. Sweden's lips faltered and pressed into a line. He faced away from Finland. Standing up, he said softly,

"I'm…goin' t' go t' my room. Thanks f'r ev'rything."

"Su-san—" Berwald merely stopped, his back still turned to Tino. The Finn found himself at a loss for words. "Er, good night," he offered. Sweden nodded.

"Good n'ght." He left the kitchen.

Later, Finland went to put Sealand to bed.

"Good night," he murmured, looking into Peter's blue eyes. A smile came naturally onto his face. And he hated himself for not being able to offer the same to Sweden.

* * *

The first thing that he noticed upon coming home after work every evening, Finland found, was the noise. He would take a few moments to steel himself. Then he would enter, look around, and be ambushed by Sealand, who would usually be the one causing the ruckus. The Finn would take a few moments to ascertain the reason for Peter's behavior, and then try to comfort him. That would soothe the troubled child, giving him the chance to relax before dinner. Then he would prepare the meal with the energy he had left after a long was almost never there every time, being either still at work or on his way back. That was what usually happened.

Today, however, was different.

When Tino returned to his house, there was no noise at all. He could hear only the rushing of the wind. Peter did not attack him as he walked in. Actually, the boy was nowhere to be seen. Finland began to panic. What if someone had broken in?

"Hello?" he called tentatively.

"Finl'nd?" To his surprise, Sweden emerged, drying his hands on a dishcloth.

"Su-san? Why are you home so early?"

"Wasn't much t' do at w'rk t'day. Boss let me c'me home early."

"Oh." Tino took off his coat. "Where are Sealand and Hanatamago?"

"Room. Dinn'r's ready."

"Really? Thanks, Su-san!" After a long day, Finland had not been looking forward to cooking dinner. Thank goodness for Sweden! He went into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Berwald took a seat across from him, watching as he ate. It was a little unnerving. Therefore, he finished much faster than usual. Tino was about to wash the dishes when he was stopped by Sweden.

"I'll g't it lat'r. C'n I talk t' you?" His voice was grave. Finland hesitated, and then sat back down.

"Sure." Berwald looked to the side. He let out a small sigh, turning back to Tino.

"Finl'nd, 're you afraid o' me?" The other man was baffled.

"What makes you say that?"

"I…" Sweden suddenly looked very unsure. "Noticed that you c'n't…seem t' meet m' eyes."

"Oh. Um…" How was he supposed to reply to that? He racked his brains, searching for an answer. "It's not that I'm completely scared of you! I mean, I'm not totally afraid of you…" With every word, he was digging himself into a deeper hole.

"So y're scared o' me."

"No! I-I—"The main objective was to protect Berwald's feelings. "Um…Er…"

"Y' c'n tell me th' truth." His voice was gentle. Tino paused. Then, he told him,

"The truth is…I'm a little intimidated by you. But it's not your fault, Su-san! In fact, you're the kindest, most caring person I've ever met."

"…How c'n I be kind 'nd carin' if I make you feel uncomf'rtable?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself! If anything, it's my fault—"

"It's m'ne. Do m' eyes make y' feel uneasy?" Sweden took Finland's silence as an affirmation. He stood up. "D'n't worry, I'll think o' s'methin'—"

"You don't have to think of anything," Tino cried, knowing that the Swede would go to extremes for him. "See, I can look you in the eyes!" For the first time in many days, he stared at the icy blue orbs that had caused him so much fear. To his surprise, Berwald was not as frightening as he had thought. His gaze was not as coldly piercing as he had imagined. Tino smiled.

"You know I love you, right, Su-san?" At that, Sweden looked startled. Then he gradually softened his expression.

"I do."

_Because all of the times I looked away, I was trying to smile for you._

* * *

So, how was it? I can understand if you don't think that it's the best thing you've ever read. But please tell me your opinions. I'd like to improve my writing.


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